Felecia's Spot "Decemember"

The Holidays are here. I am excited to share my second blog with you all.   Please forgive me if you see any mistakes. God is so awesome! I want to thank everyone who have participated in this month and the previous month blog.

Malibu Wedding Experience

I had the experience to travel to my dream location and shoot my first out of state wedding.  I would like to send a special thank you to Jeff and Sharon Silverman for this awesome opportunity. I had the chance to eat out and visit Beverly Hills, Santa Monica, and Malibu. The wedding took place in Malibu on Zuma Beach. It was very intimate and romantic.  I am excited to be planning another trip out there. Please view some of Jeff's and Sharon's wedding photos below.

Below you will view different inspiring stories from different people

(Enjoy God bless)

"I Value Myself"

I met Stephanie over a year ago. She is a very extraordinary young lady with a story that will break your heart. I see God's grace when I see her and talk to her.  She's young, bold, and beautiful. I am so glad that she has allowed me to share her story. I pray that she succeed, she becomes closer to GOD, and receive everything her heart desires

My name is Stephanie and I have been raised by my grandmother all my life due to my mother being addicted to drugs.  When my mother was 19 being as she was young and wild she become pregnant, and didn't know who my father was.  When I was born I was immediately  handed over to the care of my grandmother. Everyone tells me all the time about how nobody would let her leave the house unless it was to go to her OB/GYN . She had me on May 26, 1992. I was healthy except for the damage done by the drugs, that she had done the first ten weeks before she knew she pregnant . Due to the drugs I have a joint and knee disorder ADD ADHD and a learning disability. 

Stephanie beautiful inside and outside

 When I was eight my grandmother was finally able to adopt me, after fighting with mother in court back and fourth.   I  was even able to see my mother sometime when I was a child. It wasn't very often because she had slipped to far in to her addiction. She was also in and out of mental hospitals.  I felt like she abandon me, like she didn't want me,  and like I wasn't good enough. I resented her sometimes.  I felt like I wasn't important enough to her to even notice.  By the time I was 11 my mother had been in jail over 10 times and even spent a year in jail . She would do she had to get her a fix. Her life wasn't what I needed and my grandmother knew that from day one. When I  was 12 she met this guy, and they were together for about 6 months and he was just as strung out as she was. We never really heard from her for about six months, and when we finally did we noticed she was more round than usual. My grandmother took her to the doctor to find out she was five and half  months pregnant. I was ecstatic cause I was an only child, but also worried because my mom was hitting the streets hard and she was homeless. The next doctor visit, we found out it was a boy. He was so beautiful.  When he was born he went through cocaine withdraws and DHR almost took him away.  My grandmother took him in like she did me. It tore my mom apart that not only she couldn't she her daughter(me) she couldn't see her son either . My mom hit her lowest point after that. I was picked on at school because a lot of my friends parents knew what my mom was like.  I wasn't allowed to play or talk to a lot of the kids in the neighborhood because of her actions . I was so embarrassed of her.   

When I was like 13 almost 14 I started hanging out with the wrong crowed and being rebellious towards my family . My brother was like a year old by then . My mom had went to jail for stealing someone credit card. She got out on my 15th birthday and was actually doing good. There was few days we didn't really hear from her a lot, but she had to get surgery on a hernia in her stomach.  We dropped her off at a friends house that night so they could take her to have surgery in the morning . My mom died that day, of a drug over dose . Just when I thought she was doing better  She died May 31, 2007 she was 33 . I remember not talking to anyone that night or the next day .My great grandmother was devastated. We buried her June 4,2007 . Until this day is hard for me to understand how i could love someone that I barley even knew.  My brother is my everything.  He inspires me to do better and to be better. As for me I'm getting my GED soon and wanting to go to Alabama State University for psychology or maybe even Troy . I have a sub-zero tolerance for drugs. When my mother died I struggled to understand.  I sometime wish I  was old enough to talk to her without fighting.  I miss her dearly . I am blessed, and I'm 21 years old and sober.

"GOD'S GRACE"

  My name is Tracey Henderson and I'm married to Jermaine Henderson. We've been together 13 years we've been through the storm during a lot of those years when God  wasn't in our lives and we were just doing as we pleased. One day out of the blue on July 17,2009 I got a call at work saying my husband and his two sisters had been shot and stabbed in front of my home by an ex boyfriend of one of my sister in laws and that they were all dead. My mind immediately went to a place of darkness and destruction because I had just seen my husband that morning, and now I was told he was dead. I started calling on God like never before and wondering how would I go on without my husband because he was my one true soul mate so I got to the hospital ended up receiving good news that he was actually the only survivor my whole world lit back up like someone had replaced an old light bulb with a new one, the very next day he was released from the hospital with a bullet close to his spine and a cast on his hand where the 1st bullet had gone he looked so helpless losing his only two sisters so right then I knew what I had to do and that was really stand by my man and the kids so we started planning the funeral arrangements and getting the kids settled in on the fact their Mom's was not coming back, and just asking where they wanted to go. So 4 of them wanted to live with us the other 4 were already back and forth between home and their dads homes when my sister in law was living so they stayed put where they were. By this time we had stop praying to God for help we were just going one day at a time still trying to do things on our own. So August 14, 2009 we moved to Washington Park kids started school, counseling and got involved in other activities to help them along the way, We also started going to Church and asking God to come into our lives and show us the way because by my husband survival that could only mean God had a purpose for him to fulfill. The family at Strong Tower atWashington Park welcomed us with open arms, now we've been there faithfully every Sunday for the past 3 years to worship and do God's will, We are a family of 6 now because one has turned 18 (Valencia) and is now moved on and pursuing her dreams for the future, So now it's Ciara 17,Vontay 15, Rodranesha 15 (my daughter) and LaQuarius 11, and to be honest I don't think we could have come this far without  Faith in the Almighty God. 

Ciara 17 & LaQuarius 11

    

                   

Vontay, 15

Just alone this 20th day of November 2013 justice was finally served we went to court and the guy finally pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 3 consecutive life sentences that was a big relief after 4 years of him pleading not guilty and insane,  so my family knows God is Good, I always knew God had the last say and he spoke loud and clear today, We will forever lift God up in the highest praises everywhere we go because we know a family that prays together will stay together,we truly miss our two heavenly angels dearly but God makes no mistakes. I only hope and pray they are smiling down from heaven saying great job raising the kids. We still have our days of grief but for the most part we take everything to God in prayer and leave it there because he'll never put more on us than we can bare and he'll never forsake us. Amen.

"God Isn't Finish Yet" 

 I have known this couple for years. I actually went to the same high school with them. They have been together for as long as I can remember. I hardly say this about people, but these are some of the sweetest two people I know.

  

Keisha & Delvin

(Keisha )

Where do I start?  There are many things I have always wanted in life.  However, the top two things were to get married and have children.  I dated my husband for 9 years before he asked me to marry him and a few days short of 10 dating years; we were married.  I was 26 when we got married.  I got a descent job and went back to school.  After talking it over with my husband, we agreed to start our family.  It did not take me long to get pregnant.  We were so excited.  I was so happy after I took three test and they all were positive. I went to my GYN and the trouble started. I had to go every other day to have lab work drawn and the nurse would just give me little information about why I needed to have this done. It was my first pregnancy, so I did not know what levels had to do with anything. But then she finally told me that they [levels] were not going up like they should, and that I was about to have a miscarriage. I prayed, wished, begged, cried, did it all. I wanted my baby so bad. Then on Sunday morning August 10, 2008, at 11:45 a.m. my baby left me to go to heaven. I was so hurt. I did not understand why. So many people get pregnant every day. And I asked myself, why did mine have to leave me? I wanted to die. I did not want to be in this world any longer. It hurt too bad to just breathe. I felt guilty for even being alive and my baby wasn't. I had family and friends that prayed for me and encouraged me. Even though I was still hurting, I took things one day at a time until I realized God’s plan for me and that the baby would have stopped or prolonged it. But I still wanted my baby.

I moved on and stopped focusing on my loss and kept moving. However, God blessed me again to become pregnant. I was overjoyed. Again, I always wanted to be someone’s mommy. I was pregnant again. I was scared and I prayed and put Holy Oil on my stomach every day and prayed for my baby and that this one would not leave me. I was just happy for each day that I was still pregnant. I was prescribed progesterone daily because I was at high risk for miscarriages. I didn't like it, but I did it. I did everything like they asked me. April 8, 2009, I went to my GYN and had my ultrasound. The Trouble Begins: When we went for the ultrasound, the tech told me point blank, "either my days were off or this looks like it will not be a good pregnancy." I was so scared. I was crying and trying to stay hopeful, but then the doctor told me that they would be doing a repeat ultrasound the following week. She asked me if I was sure about the date of my last cycle and I was. She told me that everything looked good for a 5 week pregnancy, but I was 9 weeks.

She told me to stay hopeful and to come in next week and we will look again. However, April 10, 2009, I was at church singing in the choir and I started hurting really bad. I was rushed to the hospital and when they got my pain under control, I later went for another ultrasound. I should have known something was up when it took so long and the tech asked the nurse my lab results. When he spoke to me, he had this look on his face. Around 2 am the nurse came in with BAD NEWS. You have a Blighted Ovum. The sac was there and everything else, but no baby. The baby had stopped developing somewhere in the early stages. She told us that the doctor would be in to explain more. All I could do was continue to say, "God you said, God you said," as I was crying in my pillow. The doctor came and said that the sac could continue to grow even without the baby for up to 12 weeks and that this is just one of those things that could not be explained.

Two babies gone from my life. April 15, 2009, I went back to my GYN and this time I was hopeful. I had found some information about this diagnosis on the Internet, and I thought that maybe the tech was wrong and maybe I was earlier than I thought and that they were right that I was five weeks. I told the Lord,  “I am trusting You” and told myself “that there is nothing too hard for God.”  I prayed and prayed that they were wrong and when I went to my doctor my ultrasound would pick up a heartbeat and my baby would be okay. However, that did not happen. I went and there was no change and my levels had dropped one. They were right all along and soon my body will miscarry any day now. I had gotten my hopes up in vain. So, I decided that if I could have my D and C that day or the next, I would be fine, because I wasn't going to wait on my body to miscarry that was too painful to sit and wait; I also needed closure. My doctor was able to get my appointment. very quick and around 1:00 p.m. on April 15, 2009, I was at the hospital waiting on it to happen. I was like "Let’s get this over; I want this egg out of me, etc." However, when they took me to the back I became so scared my whole emotion changed in a matter of a second. My hubby had to leave me while they prepared me for surgery. I was scared and wanted to run out. When he came back to the room to be with me, he was only in there a few minutes. I didn't even get the chance to talk to my hubby before I went back. As they were wheeling me back, I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. In my mind I was wishing he would read my thoughts. I was screaming at him for help and to not let them take me, I was screaming that I was scared and didn't want to do this. But no one is a mind reader, right?

I felt like an animal. Only birds, etc., give birth to eggs with nothing inside of them. I was lost. I carried this one so long and to find out that at some point it stopped developing. I cannot understand. I was numb. I didn't care about a lot of things after that. I was trying to act as if it never happened in order to get through the day. My thoughts of leaving this world were so much stronger that time than ever before. I didn’t understand. I would have given my life for that baby; I would have given up everything that I had worked for in order to keep that child. I was lost. I didn’t know what to do with myself. I had my good days and my bad days. When it was bad, it was bad and I didn't know how I would ever get over this. I found it hard to be alone. I had to get out of the house and keep my mind on other things. The day that I stopped focusing on other things was the day that my mind went back to laying on that table and my baby truly being gone. I felt like a zombie that faked happiness, because to talking to others about it would have them talking about it and that would bring it all back to my memory over and over again. I found myself running from the ones that really cared about me and being with people that I know didn't. I sought solace from those who only thought of themselves. I knew this to be true when I noticed that they would not ask me how I was doing nor offer encouragement. I did this all because I do not want to deal with it.  I was just going through this world at that point without emotions or feelings. I faked it so good sometimes that unless you really knew me you did not catch on. 

My doctor was awesome.  She became more than my doctor after this.  She is a good friend now.  She wanted to send me to the fertility doctor to find out why I could not carry the babies.  I did not want to go.  She told me at anytime if I changed my mind to call her.  However, to deal with it brought me closer to wanting to end it; my life that is. Being at a different place in my life with God, truly saved me. Due to my faith I more than likely wouldn't because that is a Sin that cannot be forgiven; however, the thoughts of doing it were there. I could feel it, smell it, and imagine doing it when I had my bad days. I went to a local park one day and I was so sad.  I cannot swim, but as I looked at the pond I thought I could walk to the deep end and just go under and end it in seconds.  I felt the water on my face and body.  My thought took me from imagination to seemingly feeling what it would feel like.  I heard a voice to not do it.  My thought ended and I left the park.  The pain was so great that I could not look at a child without crying.  I didn't know if I wanted help. I found it somewhat of a comfort in being sad because my baby did not get the chance to live so why should I be happy when my babies did not get to enjoy anything about the world.

I often thought how can I be happy again? How can I truly live my life to the fullest again? How will I get over this? I was broken. I had a piece of a heart and the rest was broken in a million pieces. I wondered how I could face this without thoughts of leaving this world. I asked God to make me whole every night. It took me months to get out of this depression.  I gained weight and started to lose hair.

I applied for graduate school and was accepted.  To get over this I buried myself in school once again.  I continued to do this until the pain became somewhat dull.  I interacted with new people that did not know me nor my story and did not think about it.  I accepted my internship to Washington, DC and left for a semester.  That was the best thing that could have happened.  I was able to truly heal.  I lost weight.  I got my mind and thoughts in order and I began to enjoy life once again.  I missed my husband, but we did see each other.  I felt in control and me again.  

Everything was coming together, until my husband asked to try again.  I was shocked.  We had not talked about babies in a while.  We did not talk about our loss.  We just moved on.  I got scared and at that moment all of the emotions came flooding in.  It messed me up.  I had to get back on top of this again.  And I did.  I went to God and came to peace with it.  I gave it all to God.  I talked to my husband before I returned from my internship and we agreed to try again.  I was in such a better place.  When I returned, everyone kept commenting on my weight loss and saying there was a light about me.  I was truly happy.  

A few months of being home, we tried again.  And as always, I got pregnant right away.  I went to the doctor for lab work and my hormones were low and due to being high risk, I was placed on progesterone again.  This time I told my first lady at church (I love this lady; she is my second mom and has been there with me through everything) she kept me in her prayers and gave me a book Supernatural Childbirth.  She pin pointed sections that she wanted me to focus greatly on.  This book helped me so much.  When I got scared, I would refer back to those sections.  

My pregnancy was going well.  Until one day I started bleeding.  I called the doctor’s office and was told to go to the hospital.  They admitted me.  I was bleeding due to the position of my baby and the sac.  I was placed on bed rest for weeks. The plus side to this visit was that the ultrasound tech informed us that we were having a girl. Although, I was a little shy of being 20 weeks.  I was finally taken off bed rest and everything was going great.  Then I was placed back in the hospital due to bleeding again and admitted to the hospital, yet again.  This time I was not placed on bed rest, but was directed to take it easy.  My pregnancy was going well, until I got around 36 weeks and my blood pressure was up.  I was admitted to the hospital for 6 days.  I was placed on bed rest and it was decided that I would be induced at 38 weeks and 1 day.  I was excited that I would see my baby and all of this would be over.  Everyone was present for the birth of our daughter.

I thought we would were finally out of the woods.  NOT!!! I was stuck at 6 cm and would not go any further.  They did some test to check me and come back to say that we were going to have an emergency C-section.  I was scared.  All I thought about was death.  I thought I would bleed out on the table and leave my husband alone and my child motherless.  However, everything worked out and it was an easy procedure.  Again, I thought we were out of the woods.  After being placed in my room from recovery, I wanted to see my baby.  They informed me that her temperature was low and they would bring her to me as soon as it came up.  I had so many people in my room that I did not have time to think that anything was wrong.  Later that night they brought her to me.  I was scared to hold her.  She was so beautiful.  She stayed about 2 hours then the nurse came to check her.  She told me that Kensley’s temperature had dropped again and she was taking her back to the nursery.  I was so tired; I did not know to be worried.  

That morning (Friday) a pediatrician came to see me.  I didn’t understand what she was talking about.  Then another one came.  She told me that Kensley was sick and that they had given her a tube her due to her vomiting bowel.  They felt that due to her not maintaining her body temperature and the vomiting, that something was wrong and placed her on antibodies.  I went to the nursery to see my poor baby laying there and lost it.  I was so scared that something would happen to her.  I just had a C-section, but I was moving as if I had had a natural birth, but walking slow.  I stayed in the nursery.  On Saturday she was getting any better.  They did X-rays and placed fluid down her tube.  They concluded that her intestines were twisted and she would be rushed to Children’s Hospital.

I really lost it.  I was to stay until Sunday, but I asked if I could be discharged early to go be with my baby.  The doctor was so nice and agreed.  My husband and I traveled to Birmingham and stayed with Kensley until we had no choice but to leave.  I had never been this scared before. This time in our life was challenging, but a few days later she was doing well and it was ruled that her intestines were not twisted, but she did have sepsis.  She was able to come home with us 4 days later.  When she got home my mom was there to help and the following week my mother-in- law was there with us to help.

You would think this would be the end to all sadness and I was whole.  I was whole. I got what I wanted. I was thankful to God.  However, after going through the two failed pregnancies and the issues we faced with my pregnancy and Kensley; I had a breakdown.  My blood pressure was out of control and I had to continue to visit my doctor who threatened to place me in the hospital.  I had to seek counseling.  I just felt crazy.  I was afraid of everything.  To make a long story short I got better and my life is GREAT now.  I have a healthy two year old that is so smart; she always amazes me.  I have a GREAT husband that is here to support me no matter what.  I don’t have everything that I want, but I am blessed.

I hope that this story helps someone.  My advice is to never give up.  I was close to ending it all and never trying again.  If I had given up, I would not have what I have now.  God did keep his promise to me.  I had to realize that my time is not God’s time.  It was so much he wanted to give me and allow me to experience before he blessed me with this beautiful little girl.  I suggest to anyone to try the fertility doctors if they have to, but never give up.  I want more kids and I am still to this day afraid, but I know whom I serve and He will give me the desires of my heart.  I am not ready to try for the second child, but I am getting there.  I suggest that if you are pregnant to go to Family Christian Book Store or your local bookstore and purchase the book Supernatural Childbirth and read it as often as you feel during your pregnancy.  It kept my fears down and kept me focused on the promises of God.  It may seem like it will never happen for you, but I am a living testimony that it will.  As Team Starla says “Just Trust.”  During your lowest point, Just Trust.  It will get better and God is not a God that will lie.

Keisha & Kensley

(Delvin version)

We each start off with a dream, we see the promise, but the road toward the promise is unknown. As a young single man, I did not fathom becoming a father, in fact; I never thought I would be one. After seeing an experiencing life, I often thought of the challenges many parents faced while rearing children. These challenges often helped me to hold fast to my confession of not having children. Little did I know, God would place it in my heart to be a father. After my wife came to me and said “I’m pregnant.” I actually smiled and said “I knew you were.” I believe God has His way of allowing both parents in on the secret of conception. We both happily made the announcement to our family members that we were expecting and, of course, they were all excited. I often thought to myself, how I would be able to father, lead and guide my child through life. Being a father can be pressure filled, after all not only are husbands responsible for their wives, but they are also responsible for leading in many areas.

As men, we are charged with headship and protecting our family. I did all I knew to do and some things I had seen or heard other fathers-to-be doing. As time went by, my wife and I went to the scheduled check-up and learned of her hormonal levels being below the norm. Being the believer that I am, I thought this would nothing we can’t pray about. So, I prayed about the levels being normal and that what seemed to be high risk pregnancy

 would soon be lessened to normal. The morning of August 10th is one that I will never forget. I was at church when I got the call that seemingly dropped my heart to the pit of my stomach. Once we got to the ER, I was of course praying that all would be well. We seen by the doctor and then told the pregnancy had ended in miscarriage. There we were in the room alone. Men are natural fixers, yet I knew not how to fix this. I did not know what to do. The one glimmer of hope I do remember was one of the nurses saying that everything would be all right and that she had gone through a series of miscarriages, but eventually had two or three children. I remembered that one of my cousin had also gone through this same thing, but I knew that all women are different in some way, and that my wife was going to need extra care and attention.  Keep in mind, that all of this is new territory for me. It’s one thing to be excited about having a baby, but the total opposite to experience this type of loss. I remember saying, “Lord, You said you’d never leave nor forsake us.” He ultimately did just that. I learned to just be my wife’s friend through the experience. She didn’t need me to be superman nor batman; she just wanted to know I was there. I stayed right there ready to listen when she needed an ear. 

Now, a few months went by and we tried again, and found out we were pregnant. Unfortunately, almost 8 months to the date of losing our first child we were now experiencing it all over again. I was extra confused. God had promised us a child, yet my wife had not bore one. At this point, I started to fear how we would get over losing this one. After all, my wife was not completely over losing the first one and neither was I. I went back to being there for her as best I could. I saw her slip into a very dark place; I felt helpless. I, again, didn’t know how to “fix” the problem. I did not know that right words to say. It seemed like there was nothing I could say nor do to make things better or go away. I soon became anxious about coming home from work, because I didn’t know the state my wife would be in when I returned. I saw her take on “busy task, but I could see the pain, the hurt, the defeat every time I looked in her eyes. I didn’t know to whom I could turn.  Would they understand? Would people really care about my issues? When people would ask about her, I’d always say with a smile, much hope, and confidence “She’s okay.”  A good friend of mine, who’d experienced the same thing at least four times, said “Just be her friend.” I remember the night I was in bed, but my wife was in another room watching T.V. and God plainly said, we had a choice, wallow in this dark place or get busy living [paraphrase]. So, I shared with my wife this message and it seemed to help. I say her live again. She went on to obtain another degree and an out-of-state internship. She was hesitant about going, but I knew it would be a good thing for her to get away. There always comes a time in life when we each must come to the “end of ourselves.” A point when we have to let go of past things and events a confidently rest/stand on the promises of God.

After her return, my wife returned a new person. She was new and improved. She had a new spark in her eye. Even when I visited her in D.C. she was alive. I knew them God had really answered my prayers. The fall of the same year, 2011, we found out we were expecting. I stood believing I John 5:14-15. We were told the pregnancy would be high risk, but I only knew God’s promises were yea and amen and to NOT stagger at His promises. No matter what I knew all would be well. I can remember, after finding out we were having a girl, having a dream of how she would look. This really solidified God’s faithfulness and favor towards us.  Through all the days of bed rest, hospital stays because of preeclampsia and the prayers of the righteous, Our baby was finally born. She looks exactly as I had seen her. How angelic was she. How awesome to finally hold her and see the miraculous before my eyes.

After Kensley, our daughter was born, we found out she her intestines were twisted known as Melioration and Sepsis. She had a tube in her mouth and many other monitoring tabs attached to her. I was heart wrenching to see my wife go to pieces. I remember going to the rest room and saying with tears in my eyes, “God, don’t take my baby.”  The promise was here and to have it stripped away, I don’t know how we would recover from it. I held her and confessed Psalms 102: 20 every chance I got. I knew the only thing to heal her would be the blood of Jesus. He did just that. Within a few days that doctors ruled that she was fine and did not require surgery. The X-rays were clear…Praise God. 

Through it all, I’ve learned and seen how God works. Our faith levels grew exponentially. Now, I can confidently and boldly declare that there is nothing to hard for God. I can declare that He covers, leads, and guides through paths and valleys of death. God is…. 

Delvin   and Kensley

 The family

Giving Kensley some sweet sugar.








"I Don't Look Like What I Been Through"

My mom was in an abusive relationship with my dad, before I was born and after. My older sister and I were born in Albany New York, we moved to Alabama when I was two years old. I remember us moving to Evergreen, Alabama with my grandparents. We stayed in a mobile home (next door or behind my grandparents house). My mom and dad had separated and eventually got a divorce.  My mom had three children, my older sister she was around five or six, I was around four or five and my younger brother who was around three or four years old. We haven't seen or heard nothing from our Dad, and I missed him very much.

My mom eventually left a boyfriend that she had moved in with us, and then we moved to Montgomery ,Alabama, with my my moms sister. My favorite aunt, but she is deceased now (Rest in Peace). My mom was still smoking marijuana at the time. When living with my aunt and her husband we had ups and down because my aunt husband began to sexually abuse me and my sister not physically-but molestation, I was around 7 years old I was afraid of my mom ex and at that time I became afraid of my uncle as well. That's when I became tired, and fed up. I broke my silence and told on my uncle!!!! My mom didn't want to believe me, like she was in denial about her ex abusing us, or she was too high to care or notice.  My aunt believed my sister and me. She put him out and eventually she left and divorced him. 

 When we moved out of that house and my mom got her first apartment in the projects (Tulane Court) THAT IS WHEN I KNOW FOR A FACT SHE BEGAN USING HARD HEAVY DRUGS (crack, cocaine, plus marijuana) !!!!!!! and my whole world got worse... I had to be no older than 13years old. When into an environment of the such, it opened the door WIDE OPEN FOR MORE ABUSE, SEXUALLY, MENTALLY, PHYSICALLY and EMOTIONALLY. That's when the instability, neglect and homelessness started, due to her putting me out the house or me running away came into effect. ALL BECAUSE I BROKE MY SILENCE ONCE AGAIN and TOLD ON THE PERPETRATORS AND ALSO I CONFRONTED MY MOM ABOUT HER DRUG USE ETC.

Now my mom is a single parent with five kids. Plus using hard drugs...marijuana, crack, and cocaine.... She began to verbally abuse us, and emotionally abuse us.  She was name calling us like sluts and whores...she called us regularly. She fussed  a lot, and was always cranky and irritable. She would have her friends come over and cuss us out and dog us out in front of them or whoop us with belts, shoes, straps etc. She didn't show any love or affection. She use to smoke weed, in front of us, and go in the room or bathroom and use other drugs with her friends. The drug dealers began to come by the house. They often would flirt with me and my sister. We were only teenagers and they were grown men  in their 30's and older.  We use to ignore them, but the sexual comments, the looks, and them getting 'fresh' with us continued. They knew my mom was too busy getting high, to notice or care!

 One of my mother dear friends was a great church going woman. My mom friend husband began to notice the dysfunction in our household, and saw two vulnerable little teenage girls, and he too began to get "fresh" with us. Touching us inappropriate places. He would tell us just like my uncle use to say," Don't Tell".

 I use to pray, pray, and pray.  I wasn't even sure God was real. My mom became so strung out on drugs, she would lose control. I was afraid, confused, and hurt I  I asked my mom because I was tired of the repercussion of her behaviors and the sexual advances from older men, teasing and bullying and her verbal and emotional abuse. I swear I was fed up. I was so fragile and afraid, but still I mustard up some nerves to approach my mother with seeking the truth, and to assist her in getting her some help. I knew she need help, we all did. Things had gotten very bad.  We had no food in the house, utilities got turned off. Its was rough, a lot of the time, and it seemed as if mama never noticed what we were going through.

My story isn't finish and GOD isn't finish with me yet. I'm Chosen.   I can write a book- and inspirational one at that. I can minister to others My story is my testimony! I want other young girls and grown women who has faced life's obstacles and challenges to be ENCOURAGED and KNOW THEY ARE NOT ALONE and GOD ALWAYS WAS and 'Still Is' WITH US- NO MATTER IF IF FELT AS IF NO ONE WAS THERE TO FEEL WHAT WE FELT. GOD KEPT ME. IF IT WASN'T FOR HIS GRACE. LORD KNOWS it ain't no telling HOW WORSE IT COULD OF BEEN FOR ME!!!

THERE IS A BLESSING IN THE PAIN and BLESSING IN THE LESSON!  

 

"My Life is a Book"

Janet and the boys

My name is Janet Johnson and I am a single mother of two but really it's three boys. My oldest two I adopted  and their name is La'Quinton and Quindarious Williams and my baby boy past away five years ago and his name was Jaydon Johnson. I was in the 12th grade when my first son was giving to me by his mother which is my first cousin. She was my best friends, my sister, my world,  but she got on drugs and changed. So here I was with a new born baby, in school, playing ball, and having to come home and take care of my ill mother. That sounds like a lot huh? Well with the help of the Lord and some family members I was able to do it all without thinking twice about it. After a couple of months had gone by my mother was called home to be with the Lord she died from CANCER. My mother made me a promise before she died and that was she promised that she will see me walk across the stage and that is just what she did and two months later she died. I remember it as if it was yesterday when she died it was July 20, 2013 when I was sitting in her room and she woke up and said Janet help Julia Ann take those pictures off the wall. I looked at her and said mommy Aunt is dead and she screamed Lord she don't understand please help her understand lord God!!!!. I ran into the other room and grabbed my little cousin Marquita and told her to tell her mom to leave my mother alone I am not ready for her to go tell her to leave her alone. So my granny jumped on the phone and start calling our family as if she was already gone or something. She didn't die on the 20th the Lord waited to I left the house on the next day and he called my mother to get her wings boy your talking about upset and didn't know weather to blame myself or the Lord for waiting for me to leave my mother side. Ten days after my mother death I was on a plan headed to basic training leaving my son behind not knowing if he will be okay or how will i make it there with my mother and my son on my mind. I later returned home on November 23, 2007 to find out that my so was mistreated by his birth mom and left alone. I was so happy to have him back with me to show him what love was all about just me, him, and the guy I was thinking I was going to spend the rest of my life with. On Christmas we found out that I was having another baby and I didn't know what I was going to do with two kids. As time went on I was having problems with my pregnancy that cause my water to brake at five moths. As I laid in the hospital and the doctor came into the room and said Ms. Johnson I have some bad news Your baby is going to die we must remove him to keep you healthy. I ask him what else was there for us to to because I'm not letting you take my child? Dr. Moore turned to me and said Ms. Johnson if you carry your son any longer you will be at a high risk of killing yourself and the baby.  I told him my baby life means more to me then mines so I laid in hospital until May 27, 2008 @11:00 p.m. when Jaydon decide to come .14 oz and 21 inches. I held him in my arms waiting for him to cry but he didn't he just moved his little head and arm. After a while the nurse took him to the back to clean him up but when they came back out they didn't have Jaydon with them. One nurse looked at me with tears in her eyes and said I'm sorry baby Johnson DIDN'T MAKE it so I looked at her and said so your telling me my baby is gone she said yes baby he is gone time of death May 28, 2008 at12:23 A.M. I wanted to to kill myself for so long because I felt like the Lord was killing me slowly. It was ten months apart he took the two people that I loved more than life. My dad was there to try the get me to see the a upside to the story to help me make it. In November 2008 I decided to adopt my son so that no one could take him away from me like the Lord took my baby and mother. It was five weeks later, I adopted my 16 year old cousin from my grandmother because the court system was about to put him by into the system because my grandmother was ill , and they said she wasn't able to care for him anymore. So here I am 21 years old I lost my mother, my son, and I've adopted two kids as if I had it all worked out.  After about a year of me trying to hold down a house, job, and care for my boys I meet this great guy that has been by my side ever since. In 2010 I became homeless so I decided that  wanted to be a police officer and that is just what I did. I  graduated from the Academy in April 2011 and then finds out that I have to deploy to Afghanistan in July 2011. So now here I am in Afghanistan with my life flashing over my eyes .I lost my mom, my son, I adopted two boys, I met a man that I feel deeply in love with, I became a police and now here  I am across seas praying in hoping I make it back home to my family. As the days turned into nights and the nights turned into weeks, and months, there were a lot of sleepless night because I wasn't home with my family.  I was scared that if I closed my eyes I wouldn't wake up. There was a lot of nights that was wanted and needed to cry, but for some reason .The Lord wouldn't let me cry and I didn't understand why at all.

As of Nov 21, 2013 me and my family is doing okay for ourselves. I'm still a police officer at the Selma Police Department as of now I'm on lite duty due to the fact that I got hurt last month on the 31st making arrest. My oldest son is out trying to find his way with his life he is 21 years old and trying to find a job so that he can make away to provide for his four year old son without depending on me for everything. My youngest son is in the first grade and he is a happy as a little boy could be they only thing that bother him is when will his daddy be back home. He tell everyone when he grow up he will be just like his daddy and mommy he wants to be a police and join the army to save people life. I feel as if my life could be better then what it is but I'm happy where I'm at in life I had to grow up early but I can say I'm proud of every move I've made. I've been living out on my own since I was 19 years old even when times get hard I never stop trying to get to the top. We may live pay check to pay check but I always tell my boys as long as we have a roof over our head and food in the house we have no worries. People looks at my boys and say they are spoil but I say no we are bless because I'm not able to buy them the things everyone have when they first come out but I'm able to get them the second they are on sale for half the price. So to some it all up we are happy and we thank God everyday for where we have been in life, where we are now, and where we will end up at.

"Dad Will Be Gone For Christmas"

My husband,Timothy Pledger, and I met in 2008 while running for Mr. and Ms. Lanier High School. A few weeks after we were crowned we began to date. Valentine's Day 2011 we got engaged and married the same year. 

My husband began his career and was stationed in Louisiana. November 2012 we had our first daughter, Jordyn Isabella. It was the happiest day of our lives. A few months after, we found out we were expecting again. Our due date was September 18. My husband was due for a deployment and we realized that he would miss the birth of our second daughter. Days before he was scheduled to leave we found out that I had only dilated 2 centimeters. I was crushed because I knew that I wasn't going to be able to do it without him. August 30 at 2:30 a.m. we were saying our last goodbyes. As I pulled away a captain ran to the car and asked me not to leave. Turned out that the plane had complications and they were sent home to spend a few more hours with their families. I was so happy and I secretly wished that I would go into labor so we could share this experience together. I began to have mild contractions in the car but I paid it no attention. Besides I was only thirty seven weeks and two days. We arrived back home, watched a movie, and fell asleep. At 9 a.m. the pain was unbearable and I knew I wasn't going to make the thirty minute drive to the hospital. I told my husband to call the ambulance. As soon as the call connected my water broke. Oh my goodness, this was not happening. I did not want to have our daughter on the floor of our bathroom. My husband rushed over and took immediate action. All I could think was this hurt so bad and my husband is so AWESOME! At 9:11 a.m. not only had my husband witnessed the birth but he delivered our second daughter, Zoey Alysse. He didn't panic, it was as if it came to him naturally. We were rushed to the hospital.

Three hours later my husband gave the girls and I our kisses and left. I realized that it would be 8 months before we could see him again. He's an amazing, caring, loving husband, father, and my best friend. The girls and I are counting down the days until we are together again.

Jordyn Isabella

 

Zoey Alysse

"Given a Second Chance"

My name is Shantina Wheeler I was 16 when I had my first baby. My Due date was January 28 2012 but instead I had her December 28 2011 do to blood pressure problems. She was 6 pounds 13 oz.  She had been in and out the hospital since I had her. But they was just saying it was respiratory virus. So one Sunday night in March 2012 she was 3 months she got real sick. I took her to Bryant Whitfield Hospital where she then started having seizures and they couldn't control them. She was then transferred to Children's Hospital where she had gotten worse and was put on life support. She was on life support for 3 to 4 weeks. After the life support she was diagnosed with seizures and narrow air wave, which is when your wind pipe is very narrow. They treated her and then released in May 2012. The following, Thursday of her being released she was sent back to Children's  Hospital where they sent her home that next day, which was that Friday. She did good that weekend then May 28,2012 which was Memorial Day and the day my baby turned 5 months she was so happy that day she laughed and played with everybody at the family gathering. We got home that night I bathed her ' played &' feed her then put her to sleep. I went to shower as she sleep. Not knowing I would come back to my baby taking her last breathe. As I picked her up to notice she was breathing my whole world stopped. I prayed God please don't take my baby from me not now. After being at the hospital for 2-3 hours waiting she called me and my mother to the back where she told us my baby didn't make it. So on May 29 at 2 A.M. my baby was pronounced deceased. I thought I had lost everything. I always said I wouldn't have anymore kids. Then I meet a great guy we dated almost 8 months when August 2013 I discovered I was having another baby it was a happy day, but a sad day. In October I found out I was having a boy. I must say my mate have been by my side and supportive through the whole thing. Now February 2014 I will be having my son.

Movies to Check Out

In Theaters:

The Best Man Holiday

It was a great movie. I give it 4 out 5 stars. It was predictable. I think the actors did a phenomenal job except for a couple of people of them. You want to see an unconditional love relationship? You would fall in love with this movie. This movie will also show that friendship can be a beautiful thing. It teaches you that no matter if you haven't talked in awhile, a true friend will be there when you really need them to be.

Frozen:

A great family/kids movie. I thought this was a cute movie. It teaches the kids an awesome point. It shows them that people are not always who they say they are and never assume that people, including family, want accept you because you are different.

Movies to check out in Redbox:

We're the Millers

2 Guns

White House Down

Red 2

The Colony

Iron Man 3

World War 2

Masquerade

Raising Izzie

Netflix Lovers:

A Werewolf Boy

The Tower

Winnie Mandela

Arrow

Olympus Has Fallen

Beauty and the Beast

Karate Girl

War of the Arrows

True Legend

Power Kids

Dredd

Unconditional

As 2013 comes to an end, I have been blessed to capture some people special memories, I have met some awesome sweet people. 

Books to Check out: Zora Tears Author  By: Tia McCollars
My Reviews: I absolutely love Christian Fiction. This one is one of my favorites.  There is marriage issues, family issues, and even romance. Check it out.

Do Yourself a Favor Forgive: By Joyce Myers
My review: I need it. If you are struggling with forgiveness, this book is phenomenal.

Getting to Happy: By Terry McMillian
(This is the 2nd part of Waiting to Exhale)
My review : I loved it! I laughed, cried, and became angry. I love how all the characters are in the book, and we get to see what all the ladies are up to.