Fighting the Fight at Whatever the Cost

When I met Kenisha she was one of those person, you would like to have as one those friends that when you are having a bad day or you have received terrible news, she will be on speed dial. She had such a sweet spirit and I could surely tell she loved her family more than anything. Please read this remarkable interview of her woman journey.

Me: Tell me about yourself and your family? 

Kenisha: I am an only child & military brat to two wonderful parents. I met my husband in 2001;  after 6 months of dating we realized we were perfect for each other and married on the  beach of Gulf Shores in 2002. We have two beautiful witty children. Madalyn 9 and  Mason 6. We are a close family who laugh and sing.

 

Me: When did you find out about the cancer?

Kenisha: I regularly did self checks and knew I had several lumps in my breast. Doctors always assured me that I had dense breast tissue, the lumps were noncancerous, and I was too young for breast cancer to be a possibility. One evening during a check I noticed that the lump felt different. It was not any larger, or shaped any different, it just felt different. I often say that the Holy Spirit encouraged me to check that night and continued to whisper that something was different. I called the doctor first thing the next morning. I was scheduled for an appointment later that month with the explanation of, “We’ve already looked at the lumps; there is nothing to worry about.” Something in my spirit wouldn’t rest so I to a local PriMed and insisted that they look. The doctor took x-rays and said, “It is fibrous tissue, you are too young, there is nothing to worry about. “ I still couldn’t rest with that explanation, so I asked my doctor to order images. The next day I had a mammogram and a biopsy. The doctor called me personally the next day and asked me to come in. In my heart I already knew the results. (Who needs to come in to the doctor’s office to receive good news?) When I arrived the nurse gave me a calendar; indication #1, this is not going to end well. I was then asked if I came by myself; indication #2. I sat down and received a text from my father that said, “Today is 12-12-12 at 12:12 pm. Always remember where you were and what you were doing on this day and time.” The next moment my doctor walked in and said, “I am so sorry I would have never imagined, but you have seven visible spots of invasive ductal carcinoma, you have breast cancer.”

Me: What was your reaction?

Kenishia: As silly as it sounds, I heard one of my daddy’s military motto’s in my head, “Don’t let them see fear in my eyes.”  So I smiled and told the doctor thank you. I made it to my vehicle and screamed. It literally felt like someone kicked me in the chest. I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t see, there was a piercing sound in my ears. I couldn’t remember anyone’s phone number or how to get home. I just screamed for about 20 minutes. I wiped my face, put some makeup on, begged God to pull me together because I had to go to my son’s parent teacher conference. I immediately knew I had a long road ahead of me, there was no need to start letting my children down at start line.

Me: What was your family’s reaction, how did you tell them?

Kenishia: I immediately called my mother-in-law and held the phone as I cried she assured me that it was going to be okay. My husband called me while I was on the phone with my mother-in-law and he knew just by the sound of my voice saying hello. It was so close to Christmas, I wanted to wait to tell my parents. On December 29, I took my parents to a Mexican restaurant, ordered the largest Margarita, and said I have Stage 2 breast cancer but I going to be okay! My mother cried, my father asked what was the plan of action.

Me:How did you explain to the children?

Kenishia: At the time, my son was 5 and daughter was 8. I explained that I had to go to the doctor every week for medication that would make me tired and cause my hair to fall out. I told them that was all okay because the medication would make me better. I never told them I had cancer. My daughter is very inquisitive, I wanted to save her from the fear that the word cancer brings. After enduring all of the possible side effects that chemotherapy brings and a double mastectomy, I finally looked at my daughter and said, “I had breast cancer.” She took me by the hand and said, “God already told me and he said you were going to be okay.”

Me: What's the hardest thing during the process?

Keneshia:The hardest thing for me was staying positive on days that no one was looking. Being positive was easy for me in public or around family. I knew of stories of women dying of breast cancer leaving behind small babies and I constantly questioned why would God save me and not them, what made us different? I still battle with that today. 

Me: What went through your mind when you realized you would lose your breast?

Keneshia:Doctors tried to explain that removing both breast was not necessary since I only had cancer in the left breast. Why would risk getting cancer in the right breast? Take them both! Easiest decision I’ve ever made!

Me:What would you like to say to your supportive husband?

Keneshia: I never saw fear in my husband’s eyes. From the day of diagnosis he told me I was going to be ok and he never treated me any different. He let me rest when I needed it, he let me lash out whenever I wanted to, he was steady and strong.  After my mastectomy and without reconstruction he looks at me as if I’m the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.

Me: How does it make you feel to be labeled a strong woman, by other women?

Keneshia: I don’t think I am strong. I think God lifted me each time I was about to hit bottom.