Finding God In All of This

Anissa is hilarious. I know Anissa from church, New Life Church of God in Christ. She is a diva and will say whatever comes to her mind. I appreciate that because she will tell you the truth.  She is single gentlemen, but in her voice "I don't have time for foolishness".  Please read her journey of being a single mother of 2 boys with autism.

Hello my name is Anissa McCants and I have two boys DeAndre (18 years old) and JaDarius (13 years old).  Both are diagnosed with Autism.  Autisms is a brain disorder affecting communication and social interactions.  It occurs before three years of age.  Signs of autism includes repetitive behaviors, impairments in verbal and non-verbal communication, and difficulties with socialization.

DeAndre was diagnosed at the age of two with Autism.  He was born normal and was displaying normal milestones up until the age of 15 months.  The same day he took his Measles, Mumps & Rubella (MMR) vaccination he was never the same.  After leaving the doctor’s office he began to cry uncontrollable.  Being a new mom I took him back to the doctor thinking there was something that I did wrong.  Days went by he wouldn’t eat; he had a very high fever, diarrhea, and was throwing.

 After being hospitalized for dehydration I was informed that he had Roto Virus.  All the above symptoms were common with this virus, but there was something different about him.  He was not  talking and didn’t walk.  He began to make these strange sounds instead of recognizable words.  All I knew was that something was terribly wrong with my baby. Two months later DeAndre began to walk again but he still wasn’t talking.  I took him to his pediatrician and he told me that he had read an article about Autism and suspected this is what is wrong.  I took him to Birmingham, Alabama to St. Vincent’s Hospital to see a pediatric neurologist that confirmed the pediatricians suggested diagnosis.  We went from completely a normal child to a child that would not sleep. He had now poor/strange eating habits and severe behavior changes.  The hardest thing to deal with was having to allow him to be put on medication after nothing else seemed to help with his mood swings and at times bizarre behavior. Making loud screeching sounds, hands flapping, making strange faces and fixating on twirling objects.  Talking about my world changed overnight, it really did change overnight!

JaDarius is my baby! When I had JaDarius I was married to their Father.  Concentrating on everything with Andre and trying to be a wife was a full time job all by itself.  JaDarius was a blessing, he was a quiet baby that every Mother desires.  DeAndre loved his little brother and showed his love towards him every now and again with a kiss on the forehead.  Seemed like everything was getting a little better with time, but JaDarius was not talking like he should by the age of two.  Keeping in mind I was not accustom to “normal milestones.”  Later to find out JaDarius had Autism as well.

Talking about this took a toll on me that was indescribable.  

I go to church every Sunday.  This is all so overwhelming.  It took me many years to realize I was in Church, but there was no God in me.  I didn’t believe this could have happened to me again.   It did.  I remember a mother at my church saying to me “God will not put more on you than you can bare.” Well I must be a lot stronger than I realize, because I felt like giving up.  I knew that giving up wasn’t an option.  Many years have gone by.  Yes I went through a lot.  Dealing with the emotional side of all this.  Asking God why my children?  Why is this happening to me?  I had a failed marriage on top of all this.  Well today I say why not me.  This journey has put "me" in the right place at the right time to find God in all of this.  If I had not been through this long trial I would not have known or loved God like I do.  I wouldn't change a thing.  When did I learn that I needed to start taking care of myself.  Somewhere I lost me and not even realizing it. The day I felt a severe pain in my chest and thought I was having a heart  attack.  At that very moment I knew I was dying.  I had a loving and very supportive family, amazing friends and the best church family in the world but it was not enough.  I had to cry out to God for myself.  Life means only what we want it to mean.  I lived a life for everyone else, but seemed to have lost me in all of this.  At that very moment I knew that I had a lot more living to do.  I asked God please don’t let me die let me live because my children need me.  God had to get my attention.  I am so thankful that he honored my request.  My only heart’s desire was to be the best mother to my children, but I didn’t realize that God wanted me to love on Him the way I loved on my children and everyone else around me. I started taking charge of every area of my life.  Walking, reading the bible, and praying more is my routine.  After many years of suffering silently from depression.  What do I mean by silently suffering?  I was wearing a smile, but crying in my heart and crying myself to sleep every night.  When there is no one else around, God is always there waiting on us to give it all to Him. Did this happen overnight? Of course not! It took until I was ready to give all my emotions, and all the problems that went with it to Him and not take it back.  

Today DeAndre is still nonverbal BUT speaks volumes.  He is the most amazing child in the world.  Everyone that knows him loves him.  He has his own unique way of touching your heart.  DeAndre knows how to swim and has a fascination with drum and all types of music.  JaDarius talks up a storm.  He loves to learn new things.  JaDarius  loves to swims, drawing, dancing, learning to play the trombone, archery, horseback riding (Gold Medal winner), and is improving with his reading all the time.  Looking back at all the hell I've been through to get to this point, it was worth it all!!  My doctor has given me a clean bill of health.  He asked “Anissa what are you doing, you have lost 25 pounds and this is the lowest your blood pressure has ever been?”  I responded “I let people and things go that didn’t matter, I let God have His way and he healed me and gave me another chance to live. To God Be the Glory!” In the near future I will be completing my book “I Can See It In Your Eyes.” Prayerfully this book will help families that are having to deal with a love one diagnosed with Autism. I have learn in everything give thanks!!