My husband and I were so excited to find out we were expecting a healthy baby boy. It was our first child and my first pregnancy. Prior to my pregnancy, I was an active, professional woman living a healthy lifestyle that included healthy eating and intense exercise. That lifestyle continued throughout my pregnancy. Conner’s expected delivery date was July 16, 2013 and my water broke that day. It was an easy pregnancy because I was doing squats and other exercises that helped to make it an easy delivery with little medication. I had no complications. Conner was born with beautiful, smooth healthy skin, a bubbly personality and big smile. You are probably wondering, “How are you born with a bubbly personality and big smile?” LOL I say it’s genetic because I share my parents’ personalities and big smile. Physically, Conner was progressing as he should. We knew genetically speaking he would be off the charts for height and weight because I’m 6’1” and my husband is 6’2” and there are several people in our families who are over 6 feet tall. This was normal for us. During wellness visits, everything appeared fine until around 9 months. The nurse would ask questions about Conner’s cognitive development as well as fine motor skills. For example, “Is Conner waving bye, bye? Is Conner saying ma-ma or da-da?” The answer would generally be “no.” Several milestones for various stages of development were missed between 9 months and 15 months. When I asked should I be concerned, his pediatrician would always say, “Don’t worry about it. He’s a boy and they typically develop slower than girls. Just give it a few more months.” My question was “What are we waiting for?” I knew then I had to act for Conner’s sake. I recognized something was wrong with Conner and I felt it was not OK to just wait. I channeled my inner strength as an advocate for my son and did the necessary legwork to find a medical professional or service provider to address my concerns. I took it upon myself to research agencies, organizations, programs, etc. that could help me figure out why Conner was missing milestones or educate me in this area. A simple Google search returned information on several early intervention programs within the state. I found the address for Alabama Children’s Rehabilitation Services in Montgomery. I went in without an appointment and was able to speak to a counselor who gave me a printout of organizations to contact. I called around and was connected to Project Wiggles and Giggles, a Montgomery based early intervention program. The friendly staff heard my concerns and provided free testing for cognitive and other developmental concerns. This was not based on my income or any socio-economic factor. Conner qualified for program services based on his test results. He received speech therapy and instructional based in-home training for 17 months until age 3. I continued to find resources, private therapy, medical testing, evaluations, etc for Conner. One of his speech therapist, in a private practice, had a conversation with me about potential red flags for autism when Conner was around 18 months. Conner has always been verbal, but makes noises to communicate and doesn’t use many words. Conner can say about five words including “ma-ma, da-da, night-night.” At that age, Conner was in his own little world, with no real connection to other people. These were just two of many red flags. I set up an appointment with a clinical psychologist to evaluate Conner. On March 23, 2015 Conner was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder.
Inhale, exhale, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.
Sometimes it’s hard to take it all in.
As a communicator and lover of words, knowing my son’s brain is not wired like mine to be a natural speaker of words was devastating.
Running from therapy appointment to therapy appointment, meeting with special education teachers, filling out paperwork, traveling out-of-state for get expert advice and adjusting your lifestyle to meet your child’s needs are challenging and stressful life-changing events.
But guess what? I’m equipped to do the work. Tapping into the one who has all the power and that’s Jesus Christ and utilizing my own strength, I committed to doing the necessary work required of me as a parent of a special needs child.
Sure, I’ve made some life-changing adjustments, but I’ve flipped Conner’s disability and made it an ability towards success.
I made it my business to fully under his diagnosis. What does it mean for him? What does it mean for my husband and I? How do we need to alter our home environment and lifestyles to accommodate him? How will this impact him 5-10 years from now?
I mentally suited up with the gear and armor needed for this journey, first making sure I realized this would be a journey with twists and turns, trial and error, but also triumphs and success stories.
I equipped myself with knowledge, reading everything I can, networking, etc.
I created a strategy and made sure I had to tools to execute the strategy.
As a parent, tap into your power to turn your child’s diagnosis into an ability toward success for both you and your child. Equip and empower yourself with knowledge, education and passion. Your child should drive you and also drive the services you are looking to maximize for the child’s benefit. You should be your child’s most knowledgeable advocate. There is no one on earth who knows more than I do about my child, his diagnosis, his strengths, weaknesses as well as goals and successes.
Parents you are leaders and you can train yourself to be an expert on your child by doing the work. Let’s get to work mothers and fathers! Our kids need us!
Tametria Conner is a professional speaker who is committed to sharing her journey as a media professional and mother of an autistic child. Joining both passions together, Tametria motivates and educates parents, teachers, administrators, healthcare professionals, service providers and advocates on various topics including disability advocacy and communication strategies throughout the state of Alabama, the nation and beyond. Currently, Tametria serves in an Alabama Governor’s appointed position as the Parent Representative for the Alabama Early Intervention Interagency Coordinating Council. Tametria is an award-winning TV news reporter/anchor who has earned several national, state and local awards for her advocacy journalism and community service over the last decade. She is the owner of TC Public Relations & Business Management.