When Being Strong Is The Only Choice

My child is the greatest gift God can give me . I felt I found my purpose in life once I gave birth

to my son . I was 21 when I was pregnant with my child . Still young so I had a few worries .

After all a child is a huge responsibility. Maybe the heaviest responsibility that will ever be placed in my hands. I'm an only child and not really family oriented. I was excited about caring for my child , starting my own family, and experiencing the unconditional love, I knew my child would have for me . During my pregnancy I went to all my doctor appointments like I was supposed to . Everything was looking great, and it looked as if I was going to have a smooth pregnancy. 

It's was almost the end of my pregnancy, and I was 37 weeks, I remember being rushed to

the hospital for high blood pressure. It had been this way for the last few weeks . In results to that I was in pain . When I got to the hospital, I found out my child's heart rate was extremely low . I had to have an emergency C-section. My mother stayed by my side during the procedure. My son J'veon T.

Porterfield born 5lbs 6oz, not breathing. My son's cord was knotted and he inhaled meconium

It wasn't until the next day I was able to see my baby. Although, I was surrounded by my love

ones through the night, it was such a rough night, and my mind was racing . When I saw my son I discovered he's was on 100% oxygen . God helped him to conquer that battle, but then we found out

he has fluid on the brain. He was diagnosed with hydrocephalus. We had to go to a children hospital in Birmingham, AL.

God helped him conquer that battle. Finally, I was able to take my baby home.  Although he came home, we still were constantly back and forth to Birmingham, AL. Three months passed us by I find out my baby had a birth defect called Cerebral Palsy.  It was caused by the lack of oxygen his brain had received.

There are different forms of Cerebral Palsy, and for him it causes him to have a delay with his fine motor skills and his ability to use his legs . He had to learn how to suck a bottle. They wanted to send him home with a feeding tube because they thought my baby wasn't going to be able to feed himself . I insisted they give us a few more days to work with him, and of course another battle conquered.  God is amazing.

Through the mist of everything I felt lost, confused, and doubtful at times. I felt for some reason full of blame. As it became closer to take J'veon home I became scared . I already had no idea of how

to take care of a child, so how in the world am I going to take care of a child with special needs ?

Once J'veon finally made it home it's like I snapped out of my little funk instantly and my

motherly instincts kicked in . I've done some research on ways to help my child . During my

pregnancy I was part of a program (mother classes) so they pointed me in the direction of Early intervention . Early intervention then gave me more resources . Through them my child took part in physical therapy at home and than later occupational therapy at the school he attends . He received their services once every other week . On top of their services we still was going to Children's hospital at least once a month to see a Neurologist , a Orthopedic , at the new born clinic ( keep tracking of milestones that have been crossed or should have been ) . Children's Hospital eventually sent him for more PT and OT once a week .

As you can see my child had a very hectic schedule and he was only 6 months . It was and still is at times such a struggle trying to maintain what some consider a normal living. With being a mother , working, maintain a household,  and have a social life, was hard due to my child appointment . It was hard to keep a job . I had his grandmothers and dad for support, but of course as a mother you want to be involved as much with your child yourself . I had to stay on top of the doctors make sure they were doing what they are supposed to, and making sure he crossed milestones .

I would be excited of him learning how to do simple things such as holding his own bottle at 4 months, sitting up on his own at 7 months, rolling over at 10 months, and crawling at maybe right after or little before his birthday .  I still get excited because I know how hard he has to work .

I pray daily, because I remember it was God that brought him this far and it is God that will give us

the strength we need to carry on . My support system outside of the hospital is his grandmothers, and without them I'm not sure where I would be.

My son is now approaching the age of 3 . As he gets older he doesn't have to make as many

trips to Birmingham, AL.  He recently received hearing aids and now taking speech therapy.  He has to get serial casting done from time to time . He went from walking with a gait trainer to walking with a walker ! Which is his most recent accomplishment . My child has came a long way in such a short period of time . I know he will be great . He is a such hard worker . We both have came far . It is because of him I am the person I am today . I learn just as much from him than he does from me .

" You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have . " This has

became one of my favorite quotes . I still have a few struggles . His age group is at the curious stage, and he ask lots of questions or don't know when not to stare . Sometimes watching other kids at his school or parties playing and running I get in my feelings.
 

Our most recent struggle is convincing doctors my child does not need a wheelchair . I kept an

open mind, but I see how great my child do everyday and I have high hopes and strong faith that my

child will if not soon eventually walk independently . Until then we will continue to use this walker

to his full advantage.

My child disability does not stop his ability to do whatever his heart desire to do. I will be sure

he always knows that. I am lucky to be a mother of a Cerebral Palsy warrior.