I SURVIVED: I Had Cancer, It Didn't Have Me

Photography By: Felecia Causey It has been almost five months since I started this journey on October 3, 2019. I am currently a week away from ending chemotherapy. I will always remember that day like it was yesterday. “I am sorry what did you say?”, I remember that playing over and over in my head because I thought I had heard wrong. Matter of fact I knew that I had heard wrong, there is now way she just said, “I am sorry Ms. Colvin, the results did show you have breast cancer.” I didn’t panic at first, I was very numb. The first person I called was my Mom and at that moment the tears began to flow. I called all my immediate family and broke the news to them. I got tired of repeating myself, so I did the most current thing to do, I posted the news on Facebook. I was like I am 37, I am not even at mammogram age yet. I just knew that I was going to die and there was not anything anyone could tell me differently. Mind you, I was not given a poor prognosis, everything was in my favor. I tell you though I lost myself, I lost my faith, I lost my comfort zone, I lost my hair, I lost both breasts.

I knew I had to fight. I have four kids at home and anyone who knows me knows I live for them. I have lived without them, but they have never lived without me, and they were not going to now. I am not going to tell you that taking chemotherapy was easy. It SUCKED, just take my word for it. The pain in my bones was awful and there were days that I could not even hold my head up. My saving grace were the people that rallied around me, some friends and some strangers. The battle is 95% mental and 5% physical with cancer. If you ever lose your mental battle you will surely die. People asked me, “What do you need?”, my reply, “Send me mail, to keep me encouraged.” They obliged my request too. Despite all that I was going through, I still managed to work while attending graduate school. I will be graduating in May with my Master of Science in Nursing. I am now learning what my new normal will be. I know that I will never be the same person that I was before. I am not going to say that there is no fear in my mind because there is. I have learned to live for the day, not tomorrow, not next week, next month, or next year. 

 

Most importantly I SURVIVED, and I get to ring the heck out that bell!!!!!!!! I had cancer, it didn’t have me.