Is It Worth Staying

My name is Kimayatta Green, and I want to share my story about being in a domestic violence relationship 16 years ago. It was a very bad abusive relationship that went on for about two and a half years.

I was 20 years old around that time and I thought I had met the man of my dreams. He was handsome, and very intelligent. He treated me very nice and gave me everything I wanted. After, dating him for about 3 months things started to change, he started to change. He was being verbally abusive to me, and started calling me all kinds of names.  I distance myself from him, and I stopped answering my phone for him every time he called. I didn't for about 3 days, so he decided to come by my house. I was staying with my mother and my 2 brothers at the time, and that day my mom wasn't at home.  It was 9:00 at night when he came by my house, and my brothers were sleep. He knocked on the door about four times. I didn't answer the door, but he knew what room that I slept in.  He started looking through the window, and he saw me laying in the bed. He, then started trying to let my window up and he was saying he love me and please don't leave me. He went on saying, baby I am sorry for what ever I did.  I believed him, so I opened up the door for him. He grabbed me and started kissing m, after that he slapped me in my face and told me that I better answer my phone when he called. He told me if I didn't answer he was going to beat me for every time I allowed my phone to ring. He also threaten me and said that he would kill me and nobody will never find my body. I answered my phone every time he called because I was very scared of him, and I didn't want to die.

The next day, I got sick, was feeling very weak, and vomited everywhere.  I went in to take a pregnancy test and found out that I was 5 weeks pregnant. After, I left there I went home and called him to tell him the news.  He was very happy to be a first time father.

I had gotten approved an apartment, and I was around 5 months pregnant. We moved in together I was still getting abused physical, mentally, and verbally. I had low self esteem and thought I was ugly. I didn't go outside or around my family or anyone.  I wasn't allowed to go no where neither were people allowed in our house. I was being abused like 4 to 5 times a week. I still stayed with him because I felt like I had no where to run. I believed the things he was putting in my head.
As the months rolled around I had my son 6 weeks early. He was born with epilepsy. He started having seizers as soon as they took him from my womb. After our stay at the hospital we went home and everything was fine.

As the weeks went on I had to go back for my six weeks check up, I found out I was pregnant again. I didn't want to have another baby at all, so I went home and told him I was pregnant and didn't want the baby. He started beating me to death. He pistol whipped me with a 38 gun and he burst opened the side of my head and broke my jaw and nose. I lost consciousness and lost a lot of blood.  I also lost my second child.  I stayed in the house bleeding overnight while he looked down at me and held me hostage. After he got tired of looking at me he left for the night. He turned all the power off and left me and my newborn baby with nothing. I couldn't even call no one. The next day my neighbor knocked on the door to see was I okay, because she heard noises against the wall. It was me the whole time trying to get her attention.  I had to crawl on the floor all the way to the front door to get her attention. I let her in and instantly started crying. She was asking me what happened, but I could not barely talk.  I could only mumble .

She then called the police and the ambulance. They rushed me to the hospital. I then went into a three month long comma because I waited to long to seek medical care. I was told my son was having medical issues as well. My aunt had my newborn son "my miracle baby" after all that abuse it had damaged me and my son life permanently. My son name is Lashedrick Macon he is 16 years old now he has autism, ADWD, epilepsy, tardive dskenisia, and asthma. He takes 8 pills a day. I myself have Epilepsy and a bipolar disorder that affects my everyday life. We both are disable and receive disability funds.

My son father was taken out of my life because he killed someone and ended up going to prison when my son was 7 months old. I prayed everyday that GOD would take him out of my life before I killed myself. Eventually I thought about killing him many nights, but GOD knew I was tired of being in that situation so he took me out and placed me into better one.

GOD has Blessed me with a Good Husband name Terrance we have been married for 13 years and been together for 15 years. He has been my rock and glue that holds us together. I have my good days and bad days .My bad days are when I have flash backs from my previous relationship its drags me into depression. I shut down and shut people out for a couple of days, and that affects my marriage.  We get through it, and my husband understands everything. He know it's not personal towards him. I just want to be left alone at that time .I love my husband because he is a good father to my son and he has been there for me and my son since he was 2 years old. He has accepted all of the baggage and health issues that came with me and my son.  He has his health issues also. A the age of 24 years old his kidneys failed He was on dialysis for 8 years because of high blood pressure. It was very challenging after him being there for me and my son issues. I knew I couldn't let him down even do I never experience anything like this before but I loved my husband, and I was going to be there by his side every step of the way. I had to take him every Monday ,Wednesday, and Friday to dialysis for treatment. I had to get up at 5:00 every morning on those days to get him prepared for his treatments.  After, treatment he use to be very weak, and hungry some times I remembered getting calls saying Mrs .Green can you meet the ambulance at the ER your husband had to be rush to there. Due to his pressure being high are he has caught pneumonia. After battling Kidney Failure for 8 years he finally got a call for a kidney we were so happy, excited, over joyed, and crying at the same time.  Our life has change and we are living our life, even though we are all still dealing with some medical issues. We know GOD has a better plan for all 3 of us.  My husband has gotten his CDL and he has been driving 18 wheelers trucks. I am a stay at home mom taking care of our Autistic Son.Our son is doing good he is in the 10th grade, and he makes A's and B's on his report card. I never thought that he would of made it this far cause of his Health issues, but he beat all ODDS.  We are very proud of him.

I hope that if anyone regardless if you're are a woman or man in an abusive relationship are marriage to get out of it. It's not healthy, and  it will ruin your life. You either are going to die or going to kill that person. It's hard to get out, I know, but you got to be willing to do what it takes to just leave. Its, never to late please don't wait around until that person kills you.

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