Hurts to Know My Father Won't Meet His Granddaughter





My name is Shanterrica Goldsby.  I'm 22 years old, and I'm a mother to be of a baby girl Raelyn. When my mom was 16 she gave birth to me and my dad at the time was 18. He didn't claim me, left my mom, told his mother that she had a grandchild on the way, and he went to the army. I was instantly denied. As my mother and I continued our life my dad got married to another woman while in the army and still abandoned me. He claimed the other woman's child, but not me.  My mother and I continued our life while she was still in high school she met my father. I was 6 months old when he told everyone I was his child. When I was growing up I spent more time with my father side of the family until my grandma from my dad side started getting jealous. Then I was split between the two. Around the age of 6 my dad started coming around more and I would spend summers with him, his wife, my sisters and brother in North Carolina. As I got older I stopped going, and he didn't call to check on me. It was like he disappeared from my life. I started to act out in school, skip school, and run away. My mom ended up getting married to another man. My father would come around, but my mom moved so much I barely saw him. Then everything changed for the worst. I remember sitting on the floor at my grandma house when I was thirteen talking to him on the phone, and later that night he was gone. I didn't understand how could someone take him from me. I was getting back on track with school and everything so he would take me to get my nails done. He promised me that!!  They didn't have to do him like that.  He was shot seventeen times inside a vehicle, and the car was still rolling. That was the first funeral I ever attended and my last. After that my life changed forever. I started doing drugs, running away more than three days at a time. Sleeping around at a young age, and I barely went to school. I was just doing everything under the sun.  I was supposed to graduated high school in 2012, but I graduated in 2014.  After, graduation I started doing the same thing as before and ended up becoming suicidal and went to a mental hospital. Then, last year I ended up meeting my other half, and he reminds me of my father just a little.  My life will be complete when soon to be baby, Raelyn arrives.  It still hurts to know my father won't be here to see his first
grandchild.
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