Not Having My Dad Growing Up Taught Me To Push Hard For My Kids
Photography By:Felecia Causey
Before my kids were even thought of I knew I was going to be a better father than my dad! Growing up, there were times where I longed for guidance,understanding,and most of all the love from my dad. There were times I would ask my mom questions that she couldn't really answer..."Why is he not here? Is it me? What did I do so wrong for him not to want to be in my life?" After so long, I forgot that my dad even existed, and to be quite honest, at the age of 10 maybe 12, I just stop caring. I still to this day applaud my mom for raising me the best she knew how. Of course, there was help from my granddad. He taught me how to work. He taught me the value of a dollar. He loved me unconditionally-and for that I'm forever grateful. But with all he did, there was still something missing! Today, at the age of 31, the things I know now are basically through trial and error and the wisdom of God. A little over 2 1/2 years ago, my wife pushed me to reach out to my dad to fill the void. It was hard, uncomfortable,scary, but necessary-via my wife. Things were a lot awkward in the beginning and I was quite stubborn, but who could blame me! A lot of past emotions started to resurface but I felt like it was something I had to do. We're somewhat in a better place now, but its still a work in progress. Not having him around pushed me to be everything and more to Renae, Riley, and Ryan!