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Written By: Wanted to Be Anonymous
My dad left my mom when I was 10 years old, after he found out she was having an affair. The guy moved right after. He didn’t work much. He would do landscaping, but most of the time he was at home. My mom worked a full-time job as a dental hygienist. They would go on dates, and I would be left home with my video games, television and plenty of junk food. I was sent to my dad’s family when she went out of town on vacation. I gained a lot of weight during my teen years. When I turned 14 my mom got pregnant with my little sister. I was excited because I was an only child. I wasn’t aware that I would continue to be excluded and left out of everything.
When my sister was born, I would be like a shadow in the background. They would be the ultimate beautiful happy family. I felt I was like a huge hangnail to them. I would often walk in the front room and capture them cuddling under a blanket on the sofa. I would ask for something, and they would respond to me like I got on their nerves. I would come home from school and go straight to my room.
What was the first that made me realize that I was not part of the family, was the day they took family pictures and didn’t include me. When the photos came back, they laughed and bragged on how good my little did in the photos. I didn’t say anything.
When I turned 16, I began to notice more and more little things that told me my mom didn’t care if I was here or not.
I know many are asking well where your father was. He was in the military and traveled a lot. I loved my friends and my track team. I was asked by my mother many times if I would like to go and be with my father. I remember one time when I confronted her about not showing up to my track meets or including me in family things, she hollered and told me I was just like my dad and needed to go live with him. I will have to say that was the second time I realized I was not a part of the new family my mother created.
The man that lived in our house for years, that I really didn’t know, always had to have my mom around him when she wasn’t at work. I stayed in the room most of the time, so I barely saw anyone who lived in the house.
What made me finally leave and move with my dad. I was one of the tops in the state with my track times. I invited my mother, boyfriend, and my sister. My dad was settling in his new home an hour away, so I didn’t expect him to come. As I stretched right before every race, I looked in the crowd, to look for my mom. I never saw her. I would be a little sad every time, but I would shake it off and get my mind straight. I won each one of my races I ran in. My last race, the one that was the most important to me, and for me to get the full ride scholarship to the school of my dream. As I said my prayer and stretched, I could hear a familiar voice, calling my name. I looked up, it was my daddy. My daddy…!! I waved and smiled at him and his girlfriend. I got my mind back right, to focus on the race. I ran my best time. As my team and coaches ran to me, to celebrate, all I could hear was my dad hollering “that’s my girl,”.
After I received all my metals, and everyone came to congratulate me, my dad and Patsy, his girlfriend, pushed themselves through the crowd to me. They both hugged me and told me how proud they were. I cried in their arms. I wanted my mom to be there, but I embraced this moment. When my dad and her bought me home, we had a bunch of cars in the driveway. My dad asked me what was going on. I told him I had no clue. I grabbed all my stuff out, and hugged them before walking in. They told me they will be here until tomorrow; they got a hotel not too far from there. I walked in the house with my arms full. There were balloons and decorations everywhere. Everyone spoke as I walked in but didn’t acknowledge all the first-place medals and big trophies I had in my arms. My sister ran up to me screaming, “mom and dad are getting married”. My mom came running showing me her ring with her new fiancé holding her hand. I congratulated them, and they congratulated me on my races. They quickly went back to their guests. I excused myself and went to my room. I held my tears until I locked my room door. At that moment I officially knew my place in this house. I texted my dad and told him what happened, and asked if I could move in with them. Without any hesitation he told me yes. My mom didn’t question my motive or reasons on why I decided to leave. Heck, I don’t even think she cared. I left at the beginning of the summer.
I hated to leave my school my senior year, but I did. I went to the school where my dad lived. My mom allowed me to know that they were having a destination wedding in the fall overseas. I told her I would not be able to attend because I didn’t want to miss the indoor track finals. I finally received the letter I was waiting on; the scholarship offers from the school of my dream. I didn’t share this with my mother.
I was able to see a lot of the wedding photos on social media. My mom was beautiful, as I have always thought she was the most beautiful woman there was. I believe what really got me was the photo of her, my sister, and her new husband. That night Patsy stayed in the room with me, and we watched movies and ate junk food all night. She didn’t ask me anything or even bring up the topic.
The next day my mom sent a photo of them that I had already seen, but I didn’t say anything. I just gave it a heart emoji. She didn’t ask how the track meet went, and I didn’t willingly offer the details. I won 1st in every race I ran. Signing day and graduation came around quickly. I didn’t want to send an invite, but my dad and Patsy told me it was the right thing to do, even if they didn’t show up.
My mom didn’t show up for signing day because she said she had to work. When graduation came around, each student was given four tickets each. The size of the class limited us to inviting a lot of people. I know two of the tickets were already accounted for by dad and Patsy. I called and told my mother that I had a ticket for her and my sister. The first thing that came out her mouth was, what about my husband. I had explained to her that there were only four tickets. She fussed for almost an hour on how it was not fair that Patsy received a ticket, he didn’t. I let her rant, and he didn’t say anything back. Two days before the graduation, I texted my mom to ask if she and my sister were going to be able to make it, so that we could set a plan for them to get their tickets. She bluntly told me that if all three couldn’t come, she wasn’t going to attend, but she would mail my gift right away. I texted back one word, “okay” I think I cried all night that night. I told my dad and Patsy, and they didn’t utter one negative word. They didn’t react like I wanted them to. I wanted them to curse her out, but they didn’t. I gave Patsy’s mother and my dad’s mother the two other tickets. They deserved it because they came to the majority of my track meets.
After graduation we went out to eat. I checked my phone and my mom said congrats. She asked me to send photos. I took a selfie, and quickly sent it to her. I wanted so badly to be ugly to her.
When I went to college, I was sad because my mother wasn’t there. I felt unloved. As I finished unloading with the help of dad and Patsy, I broke down and cried. They both hugged me and allowed me to release all the hurt I felt. They continued to tell me how much they love me and how proud they are of everything I have accomplished thus far. At this moment, it was everything I needed to mend my broken heart. I was looking out and begging for love from my mom the way I wanted. The whole time the people who were willingly loving me and have been there for some of the most important things in my life were right here.
That summer after my freshman year my dad and Patsy got married. My mom would text every so often. She has had two more kids since then. She is still with her husband. If you see her photos on their social media page, you will think they were a perfect and beautiful family. What everyone failed to see was the daughter she basically abandoned, the husband that was a master manipulator, and a woman who made differences in her kids.
Women learn a lesson from my story. Don’t be a mother that once you move on to another significant other, you don’t forget your first priority is your kids. Until this day my mother acts like she did nothing wrong. With her constantly fussing about how I treat Patsy like a mother, when she constantly sees us taking vacation and doing what moms and daughters do, I respect her and listen. Most of it goes in one ear and out the other.
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