Written By:Felecia Causey
Photography By: Felecia Causey
Model: Alexis Parker and "Daughter" Zaniah McGee
As a parent you want to do everything right. You will try your best to do what you can to raise your kids and take care of them to the best of your ability. I will not guarantee that you will always get it right, but you will eventually figure it out. We live in such a judgmental world where everyone thinks they know what’s best. Many are so bold to voice their opinion on what you are not doing right, and how they believe it should be done.
Elders have come up with “it’s their way or no way” of bringing up kids. They have forced their parenting ways upon younger people because they believe it’s the “right” way. What they fail to realize is that times have changed, and things are different. I do believe that some of the parenting methods back then, did bring forth respectful and more kind children. I also think that some of their ways have caused low self-esteem, isolation, anxiety, depression, and more. What many of us are trying to do is break generational curses.
I know there are many books out by experts about raising a kid, but every child is different. Every child may need different kinds of attention. If you have 2 or 8 children, there is something always new to learn. I am sure every child has a different personality.
Fighting to not be the “toxic” parent is a job. You want to keep them grounded, but you also want to be encouraging. Trying your best not to create drama and attack your child’s/children’s personalities, will already be a battle, when you feel that they're not who people want them to be. I don’t want to make my kids ever feel like they are not good enough. I want to always cheer for their achievements, and cheer for them even when they feel down.
What so many parents do is use their kids as an outlet of their guilt. No matter how bad times are, you should never make them feel less than who they are because you feel like you’re failing as a parent. As you make time for your kids, you will soon realize that it's the little things that matter, and they will remember.
As we see the “social media” moms, you will constantly compare your own methods with them, but don’t allow yourself to set yourself up with unrealistic expectations of yourself as a parent. You must not be hard on yourself and feel overwhelmed because what social medias’ moms tell you what works for them. It may not work for you and your household. As you tread on this journey of parenthood remember to take some time for yourself.
The best advice as a mother I can give to all parents on this journey, is to see through your child’s eyes. What I mean by that, is be a parent that you would want to have. I believe being more like a coach, and not controlling, gives kids the room to thrive, be independent, and learn to do things on their own. Encourage yourself and know that you got this.
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