Written By: Felecia Causey
I've always had the compassion to avoid hurting others. Before discovering that others do not care about my sentiments, I would always prioritize other people's over my own. I am not heartless, and I do not treat others unfairly just because I can. I am aware that certain friends, coworkers, and family members overstep boundaries and don't know when to quit. Many people assume that family members can do whatever they want and may not know they've crossed a line. There are no limitations preventing them from invading someone's privacy or visiting whenever they want.
I've seen parents get unduly interested in their adult children's marriages and lives. It will and can cause problems in the child's connection. A boundary must be set unless they want you to get involved in their affairs, as you have raised them to be the finest versions of themselves.
There will always be people in the office who assume they are in charge and consistently give other employees the impression that they are when they are not. Sometimes you have to remind the "want to be" or "kiss up" owner that you are an adult and that they should respect your space. Often, it is not enough to ignore people; you must also face their annoying and thoughtless actions.
Those who believe they know what is best for "your life" are frequently extremely arrogant. They are unaware that they cannot control or take advantage of you to achieve their purpose.
Before COVID struck, I was photographing births, and I recall how family members would throng the room before, during, and shortly after the baby was born. The mother's overwhelmed look made it plain to me that she sought the special times we discussed—namely, quality time spent with her child's father. There were no boundaries established for the mother, siblings, cousins, or friends. They believed they had the right to witness the process and the couple's special event. A child's birth is a joyous occasion, and parents have the right to keep it private and only for the two of them.
I remember photographing births before COVID struck, and I remember how the room would be crowded with family members leading up to, during, and right after the baby was born. I could see by the mother's overjoyed look that she yearned for the special moments we discussed—that is, spending quality time with her child's father. There were no restrictions on the mother, cousins, siblings, or friends. They felt entitled to see the process and the couple's unique moment. The birth of a child is a wonderful occasion, and parents are entitled to a private, intimate moment shared only by them.
Setting boundaries is sometimes interpreted as an indication of anger, but in truth, it is a method for you to establish a secure space for them. Many of us prefer to protect ourselves when we feel we are not being heard or seen. You are seeking to form a healthy partnership that values harmony and decency. Drawing a line and speaking up informs those around you that you expect respect in a world where you cannot assume people know how you want to be treated.
When one is so generous and loving, it is difficult to say no. Setting limits and avoiding responding requests from others will save you from being resentful of individuals who are unappreciative. People will try to take advantage of their kindness on occasion.
I may appear to be less talkative at events and less involved in society, but in my quest to get closer to God, I felt obligated to take firm stands. I make an attempt to be more forgiving and flexible.
I will end a relationship with someone if they continue to make me unhappy. My children's and my personal safety are my top considerations. I do not need to elaborate. I've noticed that, while people love you when you make them happy, their perspective changes when you stop, and they realize how accessible you are to them.
Many people, like me, were unaware of the benefits of setting limitations. It's not too late; perhaps we are too kind or were too young to realize our worth. You're learning to respect yourself and de-stress. You're making the decision—something many of us overlook—to look after your mental health. You must determine what is comfortable for you.
Setting boundaries may not be in a directions guide, and you may be viewed as a villain. Be strong, love yourself, and draw the line when someone abuses or emotionally drains you, because there are many relationships and boundaries that must be established.
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